Some Updates

Being Alone: Still putting it off. Although I have watched the hypnosis video almost every night to fall asleep. I don't think it has much effect on my fear, it just gets me to sleep.

Needles: A week later, here is my arm:

It's green, yellow AND purple!

More Needles: Donating blood definitely did not get me over my fear of needles, so I'd like to do something else with that. There's a bone marrow donor registration this Friday that I'm considering. That would be more of a constant fear, since I would always be waiting to find out if I had to donate or not. We'll see.

Also, I read an article (titled "Is Your Personality Making You Fat") that said this:

How many times have you been skydiving?

Our image of adrenaline junkies usually involves people with the kinds of bodies that look amazing in jumpsuits and wet suits. However, an analysis by the National Institute on Aging (NIA) of more than 50 years of data from almost 2,000 people found that excitement seekers are more likely to be overweight or even obese. That's probably because when they're not jumping out of airplanes, they can always get a small rush by sneaking out for a midday margarita or blowing off the treadmill to go to a rock concert. 

I was expecting something a little more insightful from the title... I suppose that makes sense but the way that last sentence is phrased sounds like something anyone could have come up with. It sounds like an assumption rather than a valid conclusion.

Fear Confrontation: Needles

I donated blood this morning! Unfortunately, it was not as easy as I would have liked it to be, but it felt really nice to be helping others.

I went to the blood drive early this morning. They took down all my information as I got more and more nervous. Then a phlebotomist pricked my finger to check my iron. She said this is usually the worst part of the whole process. It almost was; my finger is still sore. Then I moved to the donation area and another phlebotomist put the needle in. It was pretty painful, despite what everyone had been telling me beforehand. And it turns out I was in pain for a reason. The needle was in my vein but no blood was flowing into the bag. My arm started to feel a little numb. The phlebotomist called someone over to help, who said that he could either take the needle out entirely or they could try again on my other arm. I didn't want to be in pain again, but I didn't want to quit either. So I said they could try again. It wasn't nearly as painful the second time and I kept pretty calm.

The phlebotomist said that the failed first attempt was his fault, but I think it was because I was making too tight of a fist. They gave me a ball to squeeze in my hand, and when he said to squeeze it, I assumed that meant to do it hard. The second time I was told to squeeze lightly. So it still was his fault, but maybe my fear inhibited me from successfully doing something for once! I was taking his instructions, but at the same time I probably would have clenched my fists on my own. Once I was able to relax a bit more, I was able to accomplish what I set out to do.

The whole experience was quite positive. I feel very pleased about what I did for myself and someone else. I would absolutely recommend participating in future blood drives. I would like to do it again someday. My first arm is still really sore, but I'm sure that won't happen again next time. Otherwise, everything went really well!
_______________________________________________________________________________
WAIT I LIED. Just took off my bandaid and nearly vommed...

WHAT IS THAT?!?!!

I just Skyped my mom immediately (tethered and proud) and she said there's not much I can do... I'm still totally baffled... How did that happen?! It wasn't even as painful as it looks! That was from one prick of the needle! I'll post updates as this heals...